Statistically Speaking

Do you like statistics? Do you like being part of a statistic?

I am in the unemployment statistic. And I have been unemployed since September 29, 2012. It's getting really annoying too. I have to do three work searches weekly. So add those work searches up since last year... They say there are jobs to be had! Oh, really? What jobs are they talking about? They are not talking about jobs that will give you a good living. No, quite the contrary... they are talking about jobs that pay $7.50 per hour if you're lucky. And those jobs are not 40 hours a week.

My wages were double that amount at the time of my layoff. Yes, I was making a decent living. I know I won't make that kind of money locally so I've been applying for jobs in the bigger city north of where I am from. But then you have to factor in the cost of driving to a job 30 minutes or more away from home. Wear and tear on your car... all that jazz. And then what is the amount of money I am likely to make at a job in the big city? I found out... $7.50 an hour...

Well, I have another job interview coming up. Wish me luck... it's only part time but it's in my back yard basically so at least the car thing won't have to be factored in so much.

Until I speak (write) again... don't take yourself so seriously... you might just croak tomorrow then you would have missed out on all that fun you could have encountered... one day at a time! Peace out!

Rest in Peace, Daddy

My dad passed away on August 23, 2013 at 2:05 pm. I know the exact time because I was there with him and surrounding him was my mother, sister (Sheila), one brother (Byron), and my mom's sister (Ruby). Dad didn't die alone... and I am so thankful that I could be there when he died. He had been admitted to the hospital on August 19 with pneumonia that he never got over from a month ago. The ER doctor was very kind to us but said dad would not be getting better, he would just keep getting sicker. So we made the decision to get Hospice in to help take care of dad. They said that he would not live very long in the condition he was in. It was a very difficult night for us all.
But I know, at least I think I know, that Dad knew he was dying. Even though his mind was failing fast I still think he knew that God was calling him home. He seemed at peace the next day or maybe it was the meds he was taking for pain. He responded to our  shut in minister, Harold Klinker, when Harold had touched Dad on the shoulder and asked him if he could pray for him dad responded with a breathy "yeah". That was the only time I heard dad utter any kind of word from then on out.

Christmas 2012

His funeral was August 27, 2013. It was a nice funeral with a military send off at the grave site. I spoke on behalf of my siblings because they just didn't think they could speak without breaking down. It was an honor to speak of the love we all shared for Dad and to think of some of the fond memories we all had.
Now my mom is getting ready to have surgery on September 16th. She feels like she can focus positively on getting better now that she doesn't have to worry about dad. She was always worried about dad. I'm glad she loved him that much to always think of him. She misses him terribly. We all do.
So I think Dad's last incredible thought was that we all loved him very much and made it through with him until his final breath... thank you Jesus for loving my daddy.

The Last Incredible Thought

I often wonder what Dad is thinking when I am sitting there beside him. Does he think about his family? Does he wonder in thought about his past? Does he know what each day is going to bring to him?

Sometimes when I am at home I think about how can I get dad to talk to me? Because when I try at the nursing home he mostly says a word here and there and smiles or laughs a little "heh, heh".  Is dementia really taking his world even his thoughts? Then I think and pray about dad. Think and pray. Even now as I write this note... I begin to tear up and I wish God would just take dad before his last incredible thought is taken.

I recently happened upon a website, 23andme.com, and purchased one of their DNA kits. My hope was to be able to delve into my genealogy and find what parts of the world I came from. They are even able to give you insight into your health. And guess what? This report had a list of conditions that showed your percentage of  what you might possibly have in the future and at the very top of my health concerns was ALZHEIMER'S. It showed at 14% chance of getting Alzheimer's. Now, what do I do about this? Well... I am not going to cry myself a river. You know why? Because I know who is in charge of my life and I know I don't need to worry about something that may never happen.

This past weekend I took mom to a Memorial Day celebration in Willshire, Ohio. There is a store over there that shuts down for a week to get all kinds of war memorabilia from local residents and show it to whoever wants to see it. The Willshire Home Furnishings store welcomed all kinds of people into their store throughout the entire weekend. I took mom over because we have dad's Air Force uniform on display there. I took a few pictures which I've included here.

Dad was in the Korean conflict and was stationed in Japan. He was in charge of the mess hall activities, feeding all the people stationed there on his base. He told me a long time ago of a dream he had to open a restaurant. I wonder why he never followed his dream?

My sister, Sheila, was a year old before dad ever got to meet her. I wonder how hard it was for mom to be raising my sister without dad around? I know she lived with dad's parents during that year. And that in itself had to be so hard for her because she was from Tennessee and didn't know anybody from Indiana and had to live with people she had never met and have a baby too?? Wow! But she tells me they were very good to her and that made her situation bearable. Don't we all have things we have to bear in life? Sometimes it's a choice and sometimes it's not.

On this day I just want to say Thank You to my dad for being my dad and for always loving me no matter what I made him bear...and I just hope his last incredible thought will be a perfect and peaceful one.

Dementia and my Dad

Dad was put into Woodcrest nursing home on November 27, 2012. Since that time my mom, sister and I have been in transition. My mom was very sick prior to his going to Woodcrest. She had a bout with bronchitis and the flu. My sister and I would go over to her home to make sure she was out of bed, dressed and fed. We made meals for her, paid any bills, cleaned up her home - whatever she needed we provided. During this time she was feeling very guilty for having put Dad in a nursing home. But honestly, I think she would have died if she had to keep caring for him. You see my father has dementia/alzheimer's. And I know my mom did the best thing possible not only for herself but for dad.
The nursing staff at Woodcrest raves over Dad that he is just a joy to have. They think he is a very sweet man. And he is! But for some reason when he lived at home he fretted all the time and clung to mom like a little whipped pup. I believe that being in the nursing home he no longer has any worries, has lots of positive attention, and can do whatever he wants to do when he wants to do it.
When I visit him he is mostly napping but happy to wake up to say hi then peacefully nods off again. And it's in those moments I am most happy for him. I see him as a jolly man. Though he is not the man I can get advice from anymore I can still receive his love and affection. That is all that matters.   

I love you daddy.