His name is Ken Mahan.
He has been our minister for several years and is going to retire on June 20th.
I don't like this.
But I accept it because he deserves a good retirement.
Here is a poem I dedicate to him.
"It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine."
"The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so easily,
But in my hands they die."
"If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?"
"So I'll trust in God for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to God for guidance
In each step of the way."
"The path that lies before me,
Only my Lord knows.
I'll trust God to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose."
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Mother's Day
This past Mother's Day I was asked to perform a one woman skit called, "The Invisible Woman."
I have not memorized anything much since I was in high school drama over thirty years ago. So here is what I memorized and presented to both services.
It started…. It started to happen gradually.
I would walk into a room and say something, and no one would notice. I would say, "Turn the TV down please" and nothing would happen. So I would get louder ........ "Turn the TV down Please!" Finally, I would have to go over and turn the TV down myself.
And then I started to notice it elsewhere.
I would walk my son to school and his teacher would say "Jake, who's that with you?" And my son would say "nobody." Granted, he's just 5, but "nobody" ? That's when I started to put it together. I'm invisible. He can't see me.One night a group of us gathered and we were celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just taken this fabulous trip and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there.....looking at the other women at the table. I had put my make up on in the car on the way.....I had an old dress on because it was the only thing clean.....and I had my unwashed hair pulled up in a banana clip and was feeling pretty darn pathetic.
Just then Janice turned to me and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I didn't understand........And then I read the inscription. She wrote "With admiration for all the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
You can't name the names of the people who built the great cathedrals. Over and over again looking at these man made works, you scan down to find the names and it says "unknown......unknown......unknown."
They completed things…… not knowing that anyone would notice.
There's a story about one of the builders who was carving a tiny bird inside a beam that would be covered over by a roof. And someone came up to him and said "Why are you spending so much time on something no one will see?" and it's reported that the builder replied "because God sees."
I closed the book...and it was as if I heard God say, "I see you. You are not invisible to me. No sacrifice is too small for me to notice. I see every cupcake baked, every sequin sewn on, every tear of disappointment when things don't go the way you want them to go.
Remember, you are building a great cathedral. It will not be finished in your lifetime.
And sadly, you will never get to live there. But if you build it well, I will live there. I’ll live there…. And I thought of my children… If you build it well…I’ll live there.
See at times, my invisibility has felt like an affliction to me. But….. it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure… for the disease of MY self-centeredness. It is the antidote…. to my own pride.
It's ok that they don't see.
It's ok that they don't know.
I don’t want my son to tell his friends, “You’re not going to believe what my mom does. She gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes pies, handbastes the turkey and presses all the linens.”
Even if I do all those things, I don’t want him to say that… I want him… to want to come home….and I want him to say to his friends, “You’re going to love it there.”
It’s ok that they don’t see – me.
I don't work for them.
God sees… God sees.
We work for Him…. Sacrifice for Him.
They might never see.....not if we do it right.......
Let's pray that our work, our Love, will stand as a monument to God.
I have not memorized anything much since I was in high school drama over thirty years ago. So here is what I memorized and presented to both services.
It started…. It started to happen gradually.
I would walk into a room and say something, and no one would notice. I would say, "Turn the TV down please" and nothing would happen. So I would get louder ........ "Turn the TV down Please!" Finally, I would have to go over and turn the TV down myself.
And then I started to notice it elsewhere.
I would walk my son to school and his teacher would say "Jake, who's that with you?" And my son would say "nobody." Granted, he's just 5, but "nobody" ? That's when I started to put it together. I'm invisible. He can't see me.One night a group of us gathered and we were celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just taken this fabulous trip and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there.....looking at the other women at the table. I had put my make up on in the car on the way.....I had an old dress on because it was the only thing clean.....and I had my unwashed hair pulled up in a banana clip and was feeling pretty darn pathetic.
Just then Janice turned to me and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I didn't understand........And then I read the inscription. She wrote "With admiration for all the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
You can't name the names of the people who built the great cathedrals. Over and over again looking at these man made works, you scan down to find the names and it says "unknown......unknown......unknown."
They completed things…… not knowing that anyone would notice.
There's a story about one of the builders who was carving a tiny bird inside a beam that would be covered over by a roof. And someone came up to him and said "Why are you spending so much time on something no one will see?" and it's reported that the builder replied "because God sees."
I closed the book...and it was as if I heard God say, "I see you. You are not invisible to me. No sacrifice is too small for me to notice. I see every cupcake baked, every sequin sewn on, every tear of disappointment when things don't go the way you want them to go.
Remember, you are building a great cathedral. It will not be finished in your lifetime.
And sadly, you will never get to live there. But if you build it well, I will live there. I’ll live there…. And I thought of my children… If you build it well…I’ll live there.
See at times, my invisibility has felt like an affliction to me. But….. it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure… for the disease of MY self-centeredness. It is the antidote…. to my own pride.
It's ok that they don't see.
It's ok that they don't know.
I don’t want my son to tell his friends, “You’re not going to believe what my mom does. She gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes pies, handbastes the turkey and presses all the linens.”
Even if I do all those things, I don’t want him to say that… I want him… to want to come home….and I want him to say to his friends, “You’re going to love it there.”
It’s ok that they don’t see – me.
I don't work for them.
God sees… God sees.
We work for Him…. Sacrifice for Him.
They might never see.....not if we do it right.......
Let's pray that our work, our Love, will stand as a monument to God.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
My Lament
God, some days I feel like I am being whipped back and forth from one emotion to the next.
I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold on to the faith that I claim I have!
What is this dark power that seems to move into my life with such destruction in my soul?
I don’t understand me, how can you?
All I want, is to know You are working out a good thing in my life!
I will wait to hear from You. I will pray for Your grace to show me the way back to You.
Father, please forgive me when I am impatient when waiting upon You to answer my whines and whimpers.
You died for my sins.
I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold on to the faith that I claim I have!
What is this dark power that seems to move into my life with such destruction in my soul?
I don’t understand me, how can you?
All I want, is to know You are working out a good thing in my life!
I will wait to hear from You. I will pray for Your grace to show me the way back to You.
Father, please forgive me when I am impatient when waiting upon You to answer my whines and whimpers.
You died for my sins.
I will never understand that kind of Love.
But I thank you for what it’s done for my life.
So let that dark power try to come against me ~ it’s won’t take me, Lord.
So let that dark power try to come against me ~ it’s won’t take me, Lord.
I have your promise that you are with me always until the very end.
I lift my hands in praise to you for your divine love, grace, and forgiveness.
I lift my hands in praise to you for your divine love, grace, and forgiveness.
Please grant me peace that surpasses all understanding.
Monday, May 3, 2010
When We Wrestle With Doubt
Today I attended the funeral. One of my co-workers, Chris, lost his parents on April 25th in a tragic motorcycle accident 500 miles away from here. Chris is 20 years old and has three siblings and the youngest is 11. Can anybody say "ORPHAN"? Oh my this has just thrown me into a tizzy with God. Everything I believe in has been tested this past week. As I was having my breakfast, I began conversing with God. This conversation ended up with me crying my eyes out asking God why did he have to do this to those poor children? So if I'm asking those questions, me, a seasoned believer, I know those kids are really being tossed around in the pit of hell! Or maybe not... maybe it's just me feeling sorry for them. Well, God did let me say my peace. For that I give thanks to Him for being an understanding God. He knows we can't comprehend these things. It's not for us to understand but it is for us to believe He has a plan and through this terrible thing He has a good purpose for those people who have been touched by this accident. It's not an accident at all. It was supposed to happen. Why? That's the mystery. That's why we are called "believers." We believe in that which we cannot see, we cannot touch, we cannot taste. And when we cannot wrestle with God anymore we simply trust Him, one day at a time...
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