ANOTHER HALLELUJAH -- LINCOLN BREWSTER TRIBUTE TO JIM ELLIOT

I love this song. Enjoy - I hope the Geico commerical doesn't throw you off. Get past it and enjoy this very lovely melody... I did.

Pain

I've been to the Dr now and we can't seem to find where my pain is coming from. I've been asked if I'm under stress... Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes I think I must be. This pain started in my back on the right side. About 2 months ago is when I first noticed it. So I've had a thorasic xray~ nothing; then a chest xray~ nothing... so I'm done except for maybe checking into chiropractic help. I'll get on that as soon as I find some time.

A morning televsion show with a lady who does stretching exercises on PBS has helped me to endure this pain a little better. I feel a little better mentally too after doing these stretches. I think I shall continue on with it and see what additional help it brings.

A good dose of my ex pastor would help. I miss him a lot. I just miss his presence on Sundays. Nothing against our new pastor. Abosolutely nothing. I really like her. Maybe someday he will come and visit our church again. A very nice thought!

Anyways, I digress, back to the pain issue. It now radiates my entire middle section of my back from one side of my back to the other. So I think something is out of place. Yes, I think so. It hurts some to take deep breaths too so I know that's not right. My husband and I are both going in to have some blood work done to see if anything shows up there. Gosh, I just want the pain to stop. On a scale of 1 to 10 some days are a 7 tetering to 8. But things at work have been hectic too and I'm on the phone with people all day long and that gets CRAZY!

And one more issue in my life is a more complicated one. One that I feel I really don't know how it will end~ maybe because I will not live long enough to see how it plays out and actually, I don't want to live to see how it ends. It hurts a lot to begin to even speak about it. But I need to pour it out to somebody even if it's just this computer screen.

God has seen my pain, heard my cries, enveloped me in His loving Grace and given me peace that passes all understanding. I've read bible verses. Meditated on his word... everything. But I still am going down, down, down. I don't want to feel this way. I really, really don't. I even said something out loud half teasing but half truthful too, and it scared me. But I'm not repeating what I said because my true inner self, the one who really loves God, will not allow those words to be spoken again. It had to be satan. It had to be. I'm not letting him in again. Never. So be it.

My son, Luke, and his wife are divorcing ~ this has been so painful for me to go through because of the baby girls they have and a little boy soon to be born in April. Three little lives are going to be torn apart before they even get the chance to know what a life would be like with a mommy and a daddy in it... together... in love, with love, for better or for worse. I can't fix this. I can't fix this. I can't fix this. I hate this. I HATE THIS. She's in California waiting to have the baby. He's here. Too many miles apart. How will this work out? How? How?How? I pray for a miracle from God. Please, Lord...

Almost Birthday Time!

I will soon be 53. Very soon. I cannot believe everything I have been blessed with in my young life - LOL~ yes I have been blessed by God in many ways.
Recently, my oldest son and his wife have separated. They have 2 little girls and a baby boy soon to be born in May. I do not understand why they cannot make their marriage work. I am mad as hell. I want to tell it like it is to both of them. But God tells me to stay calm and let Him do his thing as only He can do. So be it.
So happy birthday to me... then my other son and his family are moving even farther away from us... double whammy! But again, God will take care of this as well.
My health is very good at the moment. I am having a little trouble with some back issues so I am going to seek my Dr.'s opinion tomorrow and see what is going on. Probably disc problems... or something else. I don't know so asking for prayers from my followers... ok?
Yesterday, as I was speaking to my sister, I said to her, "You know what, sis? We thought last year was a rough one... I have a sinking feeling this year is going to top it." She agreed. We still have our aging parents, thank you Jesus, but it's getting harder to manage their lives. But they took care of me for many years and I will take care of them the best way I know how. Dad's alzheimers is getting progressively worse but he still knows all of us so for that I am so thankful. Thinking about how I used to be able to ask Dad about "stuff" and getting his wonderful remarks has made me feel so sad and long for his ideas and opinions and life stories... I miss my dad... he's still here but he is not daddy anymore... my daddy has been gone for several years. Gosh I miss those conversations... Help me Jesus I pray.
My mom's health is not so wonderful. I feel the burden of her caring for dad is taking a toll much more than we realize. I feel sorry for her. I know it's a difficult thing to live it. But because I still must work 40 hrs a week I cannot help with the things she has to do. Like put him to bed each night and wonder if he will stay there or wander around. For now he has not been doing that thanks to some meds the dr. prescribed. But he does get "sundowners" where he imagines things like instead of the 2 dogs they have he's always missing 2 more "little black dogs".... not sure where that comes from - they have never had any black dogs... maybe it's something from childhood? Or he imagines they are still in Florida where they used to have a place. Or... or...
Poor mom. That's a great love she has for him. Thank you Jesus.
Just taking it one day at a time...

Tis the Season?

Oh wait a minute! Just hooooolllllddd on! It's not Thanksgiving yet! What is happening with the retail stores? Are they so greedy that they can't stop and smell the roses? Come on! Why rush the seasons? That's why people become so anxious! They have not had time to "take it one day at a time" instead they get cramed up with what the next best thing to buy that special person in your life so they will LOVE YOU MORE than they do now? Yeah, right! My husband loves me just the way I am and ditto my feelings for him. I don't need a new IPOD, or Widget, Gadget, or any other electronic device that everybody else has. I need TIME, Hugs, Kisses, all the good stuff that doesn't last forever on this earth. How about you?

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Remember that song made famous by B.J. Thomas?
Here it is:

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me'
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

I have been discombobbled lately and I think it's because the big M is coming into my life. It's been wrecking havoc in all areas of my being - my mind, my body, my soul has been effected lately. Though I understand it's part of life, part of what happens to a woman when her body finally crosses that fine line from being young and vibrant to ...? It's the "?" that has me scared. Now what happens to me? For about two weeks I've just about felt all the emotions a human can possibly feel. Some real and some just plain weird. But I digress... I laugh at myself after an "episode" of ranting and raving; luckily my husband can step back and see the bigger picture here. He is really understanding but I think he is getting just about "tired of it". I think a Dr. appointment is in the future. I need to go and get myself checked out - really checked out. And the thought of going to a Dr. makes me want to throw up... I hate going there!

Yes, raindrops will fall! And sometimes when it rains it pours... but I know God loves me the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow! My life is in your hands, Lord. Thank you for all I have and for all I will have. Even for the changes in my life - I give you thanks. Change has to happen in order to grow into what you have in store for me. And I will accept those changes... one day at a time!

Grandbabies are God's Way of Saying We are Precious to Him

How do we know God loves us? Well, He give us chances to do better. He blesses us with things unimaginable like grandchildren. I've been blessed five times now. It just keeps getting better. The only thing is I wish I could enjoy them all much more than I am able to.

God's love is evident in the those cherished moments we get when we can hold one of our own. My husband and I have just come back from a week's visit with our youngest son and his family. They now have three sons. Remember the TV show, "My Three Sons"? Yep, we teased our son about it. These boys are all so special and yes, I know, it's because they are mine. But also because they really are special children in many ways. Mostly, because I see God when I look at them.

I have two beautiful granddaughters too. And I mean beautiful. I also see God and feel God's love for me when I am watching them when they don't realize I'm really watching them. I think God watches us like that. He watches how we respond to nature and people and all things. Afterall, everything belongs to Him and He gave us His all, Jesus.

August is half over and it seems like it just got here. I wonder what the end of this year will bring to my life. You ever have a feeling that something is about to happen but you are not sure if it's good or bad? I have that feeling right now. I pray it's a good change getting ready to happen. I praise you Lord for all that I am experiencing right now. Some things have been told to me this past week that is hard to get my head around. But I know you have a good thing planned and you know just what you are doing. I give you thanks for that.

Life is too short, don't take anything for granted. One day at a time...

Happy 4th of July

Have a very busy weekend. Gotta get food supplies for the birthday party on Saturday. Mom turns 75! I can't believe my parents are this old - where did the time go? She went shopping with my cousin yesterday so I picked up my father after work and brought him to my house and fixed him some dinner then dropped off dinner to my hubby who worked a double then took dad home and waited for Mom to get home. Whew! She got home earlier than I anticipated - I don't like to leave Dad alone --- with his alzheimer's. He was perfectly happy to just sit and wait for her but you never know...

So, picked up around here this morning so I have less to do before Saturday gets here. I don't know if I will get it all done by Saturday or not. Let's pray I do.

God, today I ask you to send Sheila a special blessing. Something so far out that it blows her mind. She needs an uplifting from the Holy Spirit. Bring it now, don't delay, my precious Redeemer, give Your healing powers to those in need of it. Bless our home, our kids, our family and friends. Amen