Tis the Season?

Oh wait a minute! Just hooooolllllddd on! It's not Thanksgiving yet! What is happening with the retail stores? Are they so greedy that they can't stop and smell the roses? Come on! Why rush the seasons? That's why people become so anxious! They have not had time to "take it one day at a time" instead they get cramed up with what the next best thing to buy that special person in your life so they will LOVE YOU MORE than they do now? Yeah, right! My husband loves me just the way I am and ditto my feelings for him. I don't need a new IPOD, or Widget, Gadget, or any other electronic device that everybody else has. I need TIME, Hugs, Kisses, all the good stuff that doesn't last forever on this earth. How about you?

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Remember that song made famous by B.J. Thomas?
Here it is:

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me'
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

I have been discombobbled lately and I think it's because the big M is coming into my life. It's been wrecking havoc in all areas of my being - my mind, my body, my soul has been effected lately. Though I understand it's part of life, part of what happens to a woman when her body finally crosses that fine line from being young and vibrant to ...? It's the "?" that has me scared. Now what happens to me? For about two weeks I've just about felt all the emotions a human can possibly feel. Some real and some just plain weird. But I digress... I laugh at myself after an "episode" of ranting and raving; luckily my husband can step back and see the bigger picture here. He is really understanding but I think he is getting just about "tired of it". I think a Dr. appointment is in the future. I need to go and get myself checked out - really checked out. And the thought of going to a Dr. makes me want to throw up... I hate going there!

Yes, raindrops will fall! And sometimes when it rains it pours... but I know God loves me the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow! My life is in your hands, Lord. Thank you for all I have and for all I will have. Even for the changes in my life - I give you thanks. Change has to happen in order to grow into what you have in store for me. And I will accept those changes... one day at a time!

Grandbabies are God's Way of Saying We are Precious to Him

How do we know God loves us? Well, He give us chances to do better. He blesses us with things unimaginable like grandchildren. I've been blessed five times now. It just keeps getting better. The only thing is I wish I could enjoy them all much more than I am able to.

God's love is evident in the those cherished moments we get when we can hold one of our own. My husband and I have just come back from a week's visit with our youngest son and his family. They now have three sons. Remember the TV show, "My Three Sons"? Yep, we teased our son about it. These boys are all so special and yes, I know, it's because they are mine. But also because they really are special children in many ways. Mostly, because I see God when I look at them.

I have two beautiful granddaughters too. And I mean beautiful. I also see God and feel God's love for me when I am watching them when they don't realize I'm really watching them. I think God watches us like that. He watches how we respond to nature and people and all things. Afterall, everything belongs to Him and He gave us His all, Jesus.

August is half over and it seems like it just got here. I wonder what the end of this year will bring to my life. You ever have a feeling that something is about to happen but you are not sure if it's good or bad? I have that feeling right now. I pray it's a good change getting ready to happen. I praise you Lord for all that I am experiencing right now. Some things have been told to me this past week that is hard to get my head around. But I know you have a good thing planned and you know just what you are doing. I give you thanks for that.

Life is too short, don't take anything for granted. One day at a time...

Happy 4th of July

Have a very busy weekend. Gotta get food supplies for the birthday party on Saturday. Mom turns 75! I can't believe my parents are this old - where did the time go? She went shopping with my cousin yesterday so I picked up my father after work and brought him to my house and fixed him some dinner then dropped off dinner to my hubby who worked a double then took dad home and waited for Mom to get home. Whew! She got home earlier than I anticipated - I don't like to leave Dad alone --- with his alzheimer's. He was perfectly happy to just sit and wait for her but you never know...

So, picked up around here this morning so I have less to do before Saturday gets here. I don't know if I will get it all done by Saturday or not. Let's pray I do.

God, today I ask you to send Sheila a special blessing. Something so far out that it blows her mind. She needs an uplifting from the Holy Spirit. Bring it now, don't delay, my precious Redeemer, give Your healing powers to those in need of it. Bless our home, our kids, our family and friends. Amen

Everyday Lord I Learn To Stand Upon Your Word!

My mind is not able to comprehend something. My sister is going through a hellish time with her one and only daughter-in-law. And if I could wish for something and have it happen I would wish that this girl would see into her future as to the terrible lonliness she will have some day because of her constant outbursts of hate she thwarts at people in her life. I believe in prayer, I believe we must give it all to God - the hurt, anger, deceit we find in others, whatever is working against us we must give it to God. I will give it to God again and again. As long as I live and breath I must do this. He sustains us and gives us His Peace. Thank you, Jesus. My redeemer and friend. The One who knows me better that I know myself.

Press on... one day at a time.

There Are Days When You Just Want To...

...tell someone to go to ____!

...be by yourself

...slap someone silly

...scream at your sister

...choke your brother(s)

...kick your brother-in-law's butt to next Tuesday

...tell your children they are wasting their lives thinking too much about themselves

...spend money like you have some

...receive a wad of cash anonymously

...be with all your grands without their parents forever

...go to heaven NOW

...meet a mysterious stranger who changes you from the inside out

...go shopping for no reason

...spend a month in an exotic location with your hubby

...have a best friend who really gets you

...get rid of your cat

...not have any more bills

...be a movie actor

...be a famous singer

...touch God

IT REALLY HAPPENED - Or was it a bad dream?

Pastor Mahan is now officially retired. And I am reeling in emotions right now. This is the "day after". Tears were held back yesterday - it was a very emotionally draining day. It was bittersweet and am so glad I got to be a part of the whole process of the party we threw for him. He is someone who I will NEVER- EVER- NOT- EVER forget. For ten years he was our leader, friend, confidant, whatever his people needed he became. How do you let someone like that go? Emotionally that is? I'm still trying to figure out what my life will be like not seeing him on Sundays ever again. Am I pining? Yes, I guess I am. He was a big brother to me. He was like a special friend. He was like... like... everything a person needs to become a better person. Hang on... I'm trying to... I'm not sure how... I'm trying to... I'll be ok. Eventually... I'm always ok, eventually.

May God richly bless his life, his marriage, his new home, his new friends, his boat...

So be it.

He's Going Going and Almost Gone

His name is Ken Mahan.

He has been our minister for several years and is going to retire on June 20th.

I don't like this.

But I accept it because he deserves a good retirement.

Here is a poem I dedicate to him.

"It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine."
"The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so easily,
But in my hands they die."
"If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?"
"So I'll trust in God for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to God for guidance
In each step of the way."
"The path that lies before me,
Only my Lord knows.
I'll trust God to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose."

Mother's Day

This past Mother's Day I was asked to perform a one woman skit called, "The Invisible Woman."
I have not memorized anything much since I was in high school drama over thirty years ago. So here is what I memorized and presented to both services.

It started…. It started to happen gradually.
I would walk into a room and say something, and no one would notice. I would say, "Turn the TV down please" and nothing would happen. So I would get louder ........ "Turn the TV down Please!" Finally, I would have to go over and turn the TV down myself.
And then I started to notice it elsewhere.
I would walk my son to school and his teacher would say "Jake, who's that with you?" And my son would say "nobody." Granted, he's just 5, but "nobody" ? That's when I started to put it together. I'm invisible. He can't see me.One night a group of us gathered and we were celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just taken this fabulous trip and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there.....looking at the other women at the table. I had put my make up on in the car on the way.....I had an old dress on because it was the only thing clean.....and I had my unwashed hair pulled up in a banana clip and was feeling pretty darn pathetic.
Just then Janice turned to me and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I didn't understand........And then I read the inscription. She wrote "With admiration for all the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
You can't name the names of the people who built the great cathedrals. Over and over again looking at these man made works, you scan down to find the names and it says "unknown......unknown......unknown."
They completed things…… not knowing that anyone would notice.
There's a story about one of the builders who was carving a tiny bird inside a beam that would be covered over by a roof. And someone came up to him and said "Why are you spending so much time on something no one will see?" and it's reported that the builder replied "because God sees."

I closed the book...and it was as if I heard God say, "I see you. You are not invisible to me. No sacrifice is too small for me to notice. I see every cupcake baked, every sequin sewn on, every tear of disappointment when things don't go the way you want them to go.
Remember, you are building a great cathedral. It will not be finished in your lifetime.
And sadly, you will never get to live there. But if you build it well, I will live there. I’ll live there…. And I thought of my children… If you build it well…I’ll live there.
See at times, my invisibility has felt like an affliction to me. But….. it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure… for the disease of MY self-centeredness. It is the antidote…. to my own pride.

It's ok that they don't see.
It's ok that they don't know.
I don’t want my son to tell his friends, “You’re not going to believe what my mom does. She gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes pies, handbastes the turkey and presses all the linens.”

Even if I do all those things, I don’t want him to say that… I want him… to want to come home….and I want him to say to his friends, “You’re going to love it there.”

It’s ok that they don’t see – me.

I don't work for them.

God sees… God sees.

We work for Him…. Sacrifice for Him.

They might never see.....not if we do it right.......

Let's pray that our work, our Love, will stand as a monument to God.

My Lament

God, some days I feel like I am being whipped back and forth from one emotion to the next.
I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold on to the faith that I claim I have!
What is this dark power that seems to move into my life with such destruction in my soul?
I don’t understand me, how can you?
All I want, is to know You are working out a good thing in my life!
I will wait to hear from You. I will pray for Your grace to show me the way back to You.
Father, please forgive me when I am impatient when waiting upon You to answer my whines and whimpers.
You died for my sins.

I will never understand that kind of Love.

But I thank you for what it’s done for my life.
So let that dark power try to come against me ~ it’s won’t take me, Lord.

I have your promise that you are with me always until the very end.
I lift my hands in praise to you for your divine love, grace, and forgiveness.

Please grant me peace that surpasses all understanding.

When We Wrestle With Doubt

Today I attended the funeral. One of my co-workers, Chris, lost his parents on April 25th in a tragic motorcycle accident 500 miles away from here. Chris is 20 years old and has three siblings and the youngest is 11. Can anybody say "ORPHAN"? Oh my this has just thrown me into a tizzy with God. Everything I believe in has been tested this past week. As I was having my breakfast, I began conversing with God. This conversation ended up with me crying my eyes out asking God why did he have to do this to those poor children? So if I'm asking those questions, me, a seasoned believer, I know those kids are really being tossed around in the pit of hell! Or maybe not... maybe it's just me feeling sorry for them. Well, God did let me say my peace. For that I give thanks to Him for being an understanding God. He knows we can't comprehend these things. It's not for us to understand but it is for us to believe He has a plan and through this terrible thing He has a good purpose for those people who have been touched by this accident. It's not an accident at all. It was supposed to happen. Why? That's the mystery. That's why we are called "believers." We believe in that which we cannot see, we cannot touch, we cannot taste. And when we cannot wrestle with God anymore we simply trust Him, one day at a time...

Deaths Happen in Dozens not Threes

Deaths happen in threes they say. Well I think they happen in dozens. We are not even half way through 2010 and I've been to a funeral home probably more times that I can count on my fingers. I am really trying very hard to put my hope in Jesus. Really trying hard to make sense of some people's deaths that just happened within hours of each other. Dear Father, I know we lean on you during the times that we cannot make sense of why... right now I am just exhausted and I'm barely hanging on so please comfort me as well.
My heart is breaking for some young college girls who have grown up in our church. Their father was found dead by their grandmother. This precious grandmother is my neighbor. She lost her husband over a year ago and now she has lost her one and only son. As the day was ending I got a text on my phone from a co-worker telling me that she had heard something from her stepson. Now my heart is breaking for a part-time college kid who works where I am employed. His father had moved the rest of the family to Alabama. It was a work related move. Anyways, the father had just bought a motorcycle and he and his wife were riding it and were involved in a tragic accident which killed them both. Shocking is the not even the description of my comprehension of these tragic deaths. When deaths happen which just leave you speechless you wonder then what must the family be feeling? Oh God please comfort these children who are left behind to mourn for their mommy and daddy. Yes these kids are not little anymore but they are still kids just the same. Thank God for their grandparents who are going to be there for them!

Please, if you are reading my post, take this opportunity to know God more. Life on this earth should not be wasted on hurting others or yourself. Love deeply like Jesus did. Love people no matter what they've done to you. Love someone today, please? I will be loving up two families this week who will be lost in grief. As I end this post I do so with tears in my eyes but looking upward to heaven asking God to be with them all, one day at a time.

Finding Joy in Every Circumstance

The kids have been gone almost a week now back to their home in Virginia. I've not let myself cry over it but I think that's what happened to me last night. I had gone to bed to watch one of my favorite shows and fell asleep. Hubby was on the couch watching tv and had obviously fallen asleep too. Why do I know that? Well, I woke up to a very bad cramp in my left foot! And it would not let up! I began to scream out in pain and yell out to my hubby. SEVERAL TIMES I called his name and each time I got louder the pain got worse. I began to panic because I had all kinds of things cross my mind... I must have been kind of out of it but my thoughts were crazy! Oh, one more thing to add to the story is my hubby is leaving town soon for a business trip and I have not been ALONE in this house for quite some time. And the thought bothers me. I don't sleep well when he's not here. So with that said those thoughts I was having was flopping my emotions from anger to sadness, to self pity, to down right frustration! I thought to myself, "What if I was having a heart attack or something like a stroke and couldn't get out of this bed to get him? I would die right here and he would never know I was in distress..." And you know what? That scared me enough to jump right out of bed with that god forsaken cramped up foot. What do you know but it stopped cramping once I put my weight on it?!?!? I really felt stupid because here I was crying by eyes out in frustration because he was not hearing my panic sticken screams. He does have some hearing loss from years of working in a factory and the tv was on a little too loud but darn it I needed him and I needed him now.

I marched over to the couch and hit his shoulder with my hand as if to say - WAKE UP MISTER I'M IN PAIN AND YOU ARE GOING TO KNOW ABOUT IT! (I can laugh about this now but not last night!) So he asked me what was the matter and through my tears I think I said something like, "I've been writhing in bed for 10 minutes trying to get a cramp out of my foot and all the while yelling out your name and you didn't hear me! What if I would of had a heart attack or something? You would never know it and I'd be dead right now. Get a hearing aid! Or learn to turn that darn tv down when you are lying down knowing you will be falling asleep!"

Ugh! He tried to comfort me by telling me how sorry he was and I said it was ok that I just over reacted I guess because of all the things that have been happening in our life with one son and his family moving back with us for hte past 3 months; my young cousin dying; my dad's alzheimer's; mom's fragile health; then my other son and his family coming for a week then leaving and all of the dying and visiting/leaving happened in the same week~ I guess it was bound to get out of me somehow, huh?

Well, God is good and he spoke to me in some scriptures I've been reading in the book of Phillipians. I must remember that I need to remember God's gift of Joy and how wonderful it is. I can have a bad day/night but I don't need to waller in it right? Even through my pain I found Joy in just sharing my sillyness to everyone who wants to listen or read my story...

My commentary from my bible says this: Christians are to be joyful in every circumstance, even when things are going badly, even when we feel like complaining, even when no one else is joyful. Christ still reigns, and we still know him, so we can rejoice at all times... one day at a time!

God Answers Prayers

I recently wrote Easter and how my son has been looking for a home for he and his family. God answered prayers. Right after I wrote that blog they got a phone call about a house. And it's a really nice house. And the way it came about was really a God thing. Because of their short sell situation that they left in California to move back to Indiana, there was no way they would be able to just go get a loan from any bank. All the banks said they couldn't lend to them unless they had an enourmous amount of money for a down payment. These are twenty somethings, they have to money! Anyways, the realtor knew the owner of this new home and to make a long story short... the owner knew that my father in law (may he rest in peace) was good friends with the original owner of the Realty company the realtor works for. And because of this "friendship" that goes way back, the owner made Luke a great offer - yes he made Luke an offer!! Not the other way around. He wanted to help Luke and my dear daughter-in-law out and asked them for $1000 down payment. They agreed upon a monthly payment they could handle for the next 2 years and at the end of the 2 years they can then go get a loan from a bank to pay for the home. It's the best thing that could of happened to them and I prayed for this to happen and God answered! And it is the house that suits them both. I can't be happier that it has worked out this way. We all had a lot of things to learn about each other and I think God was working on all of us too! I think he taught me a lot about myself. I'm stronger than I know I am because I have learned to lean on Him and not myself. God is so good!

The Wind Beneath My Wings

When I was a young girl it seems life wasn't going anywhere fast. I was having a blast playing outside, riding a bicycle, playing baseball with my dad and siblings, making mud pies, running through the sprinkler on a hot and humid day... I could go on and on. But then you grow up and become responsible and you begin to think of others more.

We lived next door to my 5 girl cousins. We called them the T's: Teresa, Tina, Tammy, Tonya, and Twyla. I was Tina's age and we went through school together. My brothers went to school with Teresa and the other girls were a couple of years behind us. My dear sweet Teresa just lost her oldest daughter this past week. Her name was Tara. She was a light that always shined. Thirty-five years old ~ gone... She made some bad decisions in her youth and paid for those actions dearly. But in the end she gave life to the fullest and loved deeply those around her during her darkest days. She was baptised approximately 5 hours before she lost her battle. Her funeral was this past weekend. I always dread those things but am always blessed from the things that are said about the people who have just passed. She was an amazing artist. Both on the canvas and off. Remarkable talent! I feel so deeply sad for my cousin, Teresa, and her husband Phil and the youngest daughter, Trisha. You know the song, The Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler? Well, that would describe the relationship between Trisha and Tara. Tara was the one with all the boyfriends...

Here is a pic of Tara - the only one I could find and I didn't know I had one! She has the sun glasses on. Teresa has on the black and white print shirt. Rest in Peace, Tara.

Almost Easter

This year is going by so fast that I can hardly take it all in sometimes. My son and his family will have been with us for 3 months on the 28th of this month. Talk about FAST! Oh, and the house they found? It fell through... I know it was not the house meant for them because it didn't work out. God has something else in mind and I can't wait to see what it will be. My son works hard, is a loving father to his 2 little girls and faithful friend to his wife. He deserve s a break Lord! I am praying for my wonderful Lord and Friend to let us know it's coming. He never lets me down. Always good to me.

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet

and a light for my path.

I've promised it once, and I'll promise it again:

I will obey your righteous regulations.

I have suffered much, O Lord;

restore my life again as you promised.

Lord, accept my offering of praise,

and teach me your regulations.

My life constantly hangs in the balance,

but I will not stop obeying your instructions.

The wicked have set their traps for me,

but I will not turn from your commandments.

Your laws are my treasure;

they are my heart's delight.

I am determined to keep your decrees

to the very end. Ps. 119: 105-112


Wow! That said a lot to my spirit! We should always praise our God when we pray! Always! He loves that! He waits to hear from you! Just open the bible and you will find praises for God everywhere!

As we get ready for Easter let us remember Who died for us and why He died. Jesus carried a tremendous love for each and every one of us. You will never fully understand why He died unless you open your mind and allow God to speak to you. Read His word and meditate on it one day at a time!

I'd Like to Spend a Day ...

Sailing a boat...

Fishing off a pier...

Walking trails...

Riding a bicycle...

Singing with a rock band...

Eating dinner with Diane Keaton...

Living in a house like Diane Keaton had in the move, Something's Gotta Give...

Talking to Jesus... except I want more than a day with Him... I want eternity.

March 4th 2010

We lost a loved one, a friend, to yet cancer again. He was a father, grandfather, friend. Jeff Springer is now in that place we call heaven. Heaven is a place that is better than this earth. I believe that, I really do. The peace that comes with death has to be something unimaginable.

Right now I want peace.

We are having some finanacial difficulties but then everybody does at some time in their life. It's our turn. And it's ok. We will survive. We always have. Why? Because. I just know that I know that I know.

My son (and family) has finally found a place to live. Looking forward to moving him out because it's their journey and they need to begin it. I have enjoyed having them here, don't get me wrong. But I miss my home (as in all of it). That's only natural to miss what you've always had but can't have it by yourself.

Need to move on. Need to get ready for the day. Need.

Prayers for Sam (Billie Jo) who just lost her husband of 30 plus years. Prayers for Sherril (who is married to a complete moron). Prayers for Ken (my brother in law) who just lost his brother.

God I trust you. I will always trust you. The devil can try to defeat us but Jesus is our Victorious Savior.

Be kind to whoever you meet today - you don't know where they've been.

Changes for 2010

Life sure changes on a dime. Though we've had time to adjust to the idea it's still taking a toll somewhat on our lives. It's a good toll though. It's making us step out of the boat to walk on that water like Jesus did. He calmed the storm then and he calms the storm - even now when the waters begin to rock us back and forth. What is rocking us back and forth you ask? We've let our son and family move in with us until they can get a place they can call their own. Risky? You betcha! But the ups and downs are going to happen - it's inevitable. And when they come we get through them! It's an experience I know I will look back upon and really say to myself we did a good thing for our kids. Will I do it again? Yes, if that should happen again, yes. My kids are my most cherished gifts from God. I'll never turn my back on them - even if it kills me ---- literally!

Our church family is getting ready to make some changes too. Our pastor, friend, and father figure to some, is getting ready to retire. YUK!!! We don't want him to!!!! But we know we can't change those things. As we prepare for the arrival of our new minister, we are reminded we need to give this new person room to spread HER wings and fly! Yes, HER wings. This will be a problem for some people - and to tell you the truth there will always be those people in your congregation that will never be satisfied with anything that's done. And you know what? I give those people and their little minds to God. He can deal with them a whole lot better than I can! I know there is not one perfect church; afterall, look who the church is! A bunch of sinners; what do 'ya expect? Huh? Huh?

If you are not in a church because of those little minded people, I ask you to not let them deter you from finding your faith. There are so many other good people in church with whom you can feel safe with to tell your troubles too, who will nuture you and be a friend. Just pray to God to help you to find them. He's already helping you if you are reading my post. I love God. He is my friend and I can give Him all my troubles. So can you.... One Day at a Time!